Yesterday was a day filled with secrets. Everyone else's secrets and I was the keeper of the secrets. I will remain the keeper because the stories are not mine to share. I'm only mentioning it because it struck me as weird that four different people contacted me at different times with very serious things they wanted to share with me, and only me. None of the stories were related even though most of the people knew each other. Hubby doesn't know what people told me but he started whispering "Dear Abby" in my ear by the time the last person approached me while we were out last night. Other women get sweet nothings whispered in their ears and what do I get? Dear Abby... This is what twenty-five years together will get a girl! I do take it as a compliment though.
Hubby's dog, Twist, who is as much my dog as his but we don't point that out (too often), sleeps really hard. His eyes stay open a little bit as they roll back, his tongue is out most of the time and you can stand right over him talking and touching his ears and he won't wake up. There have been times I thought his heart finally gave out (he has a heart condition) and mentally prepared myself before I checked his breathing. But what I love best about his sleeping habits are his feet. They are disportionately big for his body size and he always clumps them together. Every time I walk by him I cannot resist the urge to gather them in my hands. He doesn't wake up so he doesn't care.
I am a walking PMS bruised balloon. I'm bloated and sore and just want to get on with the next stage. Menopause is sounding better and better. I am also having a hard time losing the water weight I've been gaining each month. I've cut down on my salt intake which wasn't much to begin with. Oh well, this too shall pass. Eventually. When I die.
We were invited to ride up to Newport today. We would have taken the new bike but Hubby had workers to coordinate this morning. I think it's a better idea to stay local until we are sure everything is honky dory with the bike, but didn't say that to Hubby because that's venturing into (drop your voice) men's territory. I hope we do get to go for a nice long ride today. I'd like to take some pictures since it's suppose to be sunny. We'll see.
I have a situation. We see SoccerGirl's (Youngest Son's girlfriend) mom quite often because she is a waitress/bartender at one of the restaurants we frequent. We like her but keep a certain distance because that's what parents of dating teens should do. Here's the kicker, she feels perfectly comfortable putting YS down to me by calling him names like Mister Miserable (which he is sometimes and many times it's in response to SG's actions) and publicly acting like SG is slumming by dating YS. I have been taking these words and actions in stride for months but I am reaching the end of my patience.
The truth is I don't believe YS and SG should still be going out. I don't think they are the best for each other, at this stage of the game. They've been together since the fall of their freshmen year and they are juniors now. He can be moody and definitely lazy. She is extremely insecure which causes her to nag, not trust him out of her sight and snoop through his stuff (room, papers, phone).
I don't know if SG's mom knows this about her or if she approves. She is in the middle of her own very messy divorce and they all still live under the same roof causing lots of fights. U-G-L-Y. Maybe this is how SG's parents have treated each other but I've told her the distrust and snooping are unacceptable. She always says what she thinks I want to hear and then goes on her merry way.
Last night we were downtown at a food tasting festival when we ran into SG's mom. Youngest Son had just gotten home from a fall baseball practice, had plans to shower and just stay home, alone. SG, apparently, had plans with some girlfriends. She's allowed to go out with friends but YS can't because "he would be looking to cheat on me." He has never cheated on her and he is even careful about talking with other girls because she loses it. For hours.
Anyway. We stopped to say hi to SG's mom and she immediately says, "What's Mister Miserable doing tonight? Can he breathe without SoccerGirl there?" I was very well behaved considering the amount of PMS bitchiness threatening to overflow from my mouth. I said, "W-h-a-t?" (But I did not bob and weave my head like I wanted to).
She caught herself and said "Oh SG had plans with friends but she wanted to see him around ten tonight. *I* told her no." She said like it like she is the only responsible parent in the bunch. I said, "Oh, YS is not miserable at all. He had a great practice and wasn't planning on seeing SG tonight. He's fine with that." She seemed surprised by that. Maybe she does see only what SG tells her but come on, watch and listen to the two of them, it's obvious neither is blameless in their disagreements. I talk to YS about it all the time. He knows it's not a very well balanced relationship but he loves her and they do have great fun together, when it's fun.
I know from having been a teenager all those moons ago that a parent should never tell their child to break up with their boy/girlfriend but I definitely counsel them that way. Both of them.
So my question to my Dear Abbys is: what is the best way to tell SG's mom that her daughter is as screwed up as my son in their relationship and they are equal in their popularity/looks/brains/athletic ability/future academic goals without tearing her up? I want to be lady like but I have almost been pushed too far. I know she probably won't hear a word I say so maybe I should stick with a simple, "I do not appreciate you disrespecting YS in your words and actions. Please stop." What do you think?