I do my very best to stay out of gossipy conversations. Not to say I don't gossip because I do, with my closest and dearest. I do try to keep it to my own stories but sometimes I slip up.
There were a couple rumors circulating about two neighborhood couples who did switchies or one wife went with the other's husband. Whatever. One day Hubby and I heard it from one source who insisted we knew the two couples. We dodged the conversation because there was a lot of commotion and were able to remove ourselves from the area. The next day we took another couple out on the boat with us, who repeated the affair story and told us we knew the people involved and they hung out all the time at the neighborhood party house. Knowing of only one other couple who hangs out there all the time I STUPIDLY opened my mouth and guessed ... "She and He?!" (They hadn't struck me as a couple who would be involved in this sort of thing). She, by the way, is the ex-wife of the guy portion of this couple we were boating with. To my guess he said, "SHE? No way." And went on to tell me some hangups she has to prove going with someone else other than her new husband really isn't an option.
I thought that was the end of the subject as it pertained to us. That was way back in the beginning of June. We have since found out who the people are that are involved and no, we don't know them. Not our business. Moving right along.
Last night I came home to find a phone message from She asking me to call her right back. I couldn't because it was after 11, but I called and left a message this morning. She called me from work a little while ago. It would seem *someone* told her I have been spreading rumors about her and saying she is the one fooling around. At first I was like, what? I don't know what you are talking about. We got off the phone and I started thinking ... when have I spoken of She in any context? This past week her ex-husband, our friend from the boat ride, called very upset because She had kicked their son out of her house on his fifteenth birthday for talking back. And she threw all his clothes, shoes, trophies everything out the front door all the while screaming horrible things about and to him. After I stopped crying for the pain he will always have in his heart, I said some nasty things. All justified in my mind and I would say them to her face if asked. So that wasn't it, but it got me thinking about the time before that when we were with our friend and the light came on.
What I think happened is he exaggerated to piss her off (he loves to get her all spun up because she loses it and it makes him feel like the "mature" one) and he THREW ME UNDER THE BUS in the process. This is a person I consider my friend and have for nearly a decade. This is a person who I have spent literally months listening to while keeping my opinions of his behavior to myself, and offering him nothing but support and praise because he sets his kids first on the priority list. This is the thanks I get?
I called his cell and left a message asking him to call me back immediately. He hasn't, which is really unusual. And then I called She back and explained that whole conversation which took place at the beginning of summer. The setting, the characters, the mood and the dialogue. She got it all. I promptly apologized for my part in hurting her feelings. And even though she is one of the nastiest women I know and makes it a habit of ripping people's heads off for the slightest offense, I am responsible for hurting her feelings and I was in the wrong. We are accountable for our own actions.
She told me she believes me 100%. She would not tell me who said this to her when I asked if it was her ex, our friend. She said, "You cannot trust anyone. Family or friend. No one has your back. That's the way I was raised and that's the way I live my life. I am not saying it was Ex and I am not saying it wasn't. Just know you can't trust anyone."
I feel badly that's the way she has to live her life but she does have a point. That is why I keep my business, my business. Okay, well your business too but I CAN trust you guys.
I am furious right now and I hope it does end at the Ex's doorstep because there is a slight, really slight but there nevertheless, chance my new friend Tracy could be involved. She and the Ex are best friends and they get to talking. I don't see connecting the dots from her to She but stranger things have happened. If this is the case I will adopt She's attitude of distrust and just decide I can only share myself here and not in my flesh life. I hope it doesn't play out like this.
Friggin' drama, who needs it?
***A Little Later***
Our friend just called. He said there was no way he said anything to his Ex about me. In fact, he said (this goes to show you what a small world it is and there are way too many gossip mongers in it) a coworker was down at the party house last night and it was being said it is ME AND HUBBY who are into switchies! We are The Swingers! Oh my word, I am laughing my ass off right now. Hubby doesn't give me enough attention ... do you think for a SPLIT SECOND I would allow him to pay attention to someone or something other than his Harley? Hell, no.
These people drive me crazy. This is why I so love the Harley crowd, no one is up into anyone else's business. It must help that there are probably 60 people who ride at different times. When you spend too much time with such a small group of people you have nothing else to do but drink and talk trash about other people. And I kind of suspected I was going to catch some flack from attending the fund raiser the other night and sticking up for Tracy.
These people can say whatever they want about me. My husband and kids know exactly who I am and I've got no secrets, except ... I kiss my dogs more often then I kiss Hubby, but I think they already suspect that!
God save us from bored people.