My Mama Radar did not fail me. I couldn't wait for today when Youngest Son was supposed to get his report card, I checked online to see if grades had been posted. They were. And they were bad.
I let my disappointment wash over me for a little while. Got my breathing under control and prepared myself to present these beauties to Hubby.
Hubby's eyes almost popped out of his head but he recovered much quicker than I did. I didn't even need to talk him down from a rage - even after twenty-five years of togetherness I forget he is not my abusive, rage-a-holic father.
We called YS downstairs. We had him sit at my computer screen to view his grades. "Wow, wow. I didn't think they were THAT bad." Hello? Are you the one receiving papers with ugly little numbers and letters at the top? Then we went further online to see where he was messing up. Well, foolish mama, trusting her junior son to keep up with his commitments without her encouraging him at every turn, what was I thinking? It would seem he feels homework is an unnecessary evil and class participation is something for other kids.
I exchanged emails with two teachers who regard him as "charming, witty and extremely intelligent" now he just "needs to apply himself to the classroom experience instead of entertaining me." My kid - the entertainer to the adults, always has been.
Hubby said what he needed to say which basically came down to "it's your future you're screwing up" and "it's our job to get you back on track," then he left the rest to me. I told YS that he made me want to cry. I feel like he is wasting his considerable abilities by being lazy and stubborn. He has so much to offer and I told him if he would do his homework and participate in class (the way he should), the teachers would probably be giving him B's. All without much effort on his part.
I kept the guilt trips to a minimum, it doesn't really work with him. He was calm (and still stunned by those grades) and received my plans for his future with dignity and no fuss.
He has no social life until I see a consistant improvement in grades and all homework will be received, on time, by the teacher, completed in an appropriate manner. He will not be going over friends' houses, he will not be seeing SoccerGirl outside of school, and he will not be hosting his huge Wii party he had planned for this Friday night. Oldest Son is going to become his paid tutor. OS will supervise YS's homework, assignments and studying. Having completed all the AP courses and earned honor cords for them (and sucking money from us anyway), he is the perfect tutor.
YS will turn his cell phone off and leave it on my desk come homework time. He will turn off his television every night at 11:00. (He likes to "sleep" with it on, which I hate and feel like he never reaches a restful sleep. This has been a hard one to fight because Hubby would sleep with our tv on all night too if he had his own way, but now all tvs will be off.) If I feel like his computer or television are disrupting his homework or studying, those will be taken out of his room.
YS did not utter one sound of protest. That let me know how shocked he was. I believe he thought he was going to get those B's just because he is so well liked by the staff. Sorry, obviously doesn't work that way.
I will now check the homework hotline and the grade posting every day. Most teachers don't post in a timely fashion but at least it will give me more of a heads-up. I told YS I hoped he showed great improvement before winter break otherwise he'd be one lonely boy sitting at home with no friends. He knew I was serious.
I am a little mad at myself. I'd been having a bad feeling about his academic attitude for quite a while and didn't do anything about it. I should have kicked myself in the butt weeks ago. Now I will have to wear my witch's hat and ride around on my broom for who knows how long.
I hope he can recover well enough to end the term with a decent average.
A little side note. When we were going over everything last night I couldn't look at his eyes. They are the deepest brown and they were just oozing sadness. Since he was a little kid I've always had to discipline his nose. If I look into those dark pools I just try to fix everything for him and make his life the easiest and best it can be. Rotten charmer.
